everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
