Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
