I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We need to get me chipped asap
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
