physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
