I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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