Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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