Heybabeimwearingurpanties
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
