Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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