so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
