chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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