Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
