I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
did you just send me my own nude
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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