I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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