i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
