could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
