if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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