I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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