i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
