Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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