Will you blow on my dice?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
