Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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