forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
