I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's the barista slut.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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