I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
