porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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