just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I want a musical about memes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
