Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
