What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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