OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize