You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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