I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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