Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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