i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
