She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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