Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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