I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
