why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
