Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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