is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize