i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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