What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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