He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
