I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
