is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
