Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
