Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
