Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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