Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
