i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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