i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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