your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
