hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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