I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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