do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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