the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
