I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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