im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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