i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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