She said her name was "party"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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