Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
