I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Randomize
