You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
