Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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