I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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