Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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