You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
