it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
